Time Travel …Really? …

Hi All

 

See the title of this blog? Sounds serious (for me) doesn’t it? I guess it is more ‘thoughtful’ than usual.  Or it just may be that only the title is thoughtfulMB900083295?

The other day, as we drove to the cinema, Richard and I had a conversation. Stone the crows I hear you say. But actually, we do sometimes converse – and in friendly tones. I was remarking on how far technology had come in the last thirty years and I wondered how far it would go, could go, in the next thirty years. I can see the day when we wave our hand and a hologram will play out before us. Emmerdale will be in the room. Cows will be calving on our rugs.

Richard then mentioned time travel and I said that would never be possible. But it did get me thinking. If time travel suddenly became possible where would we choose to go? Forwards? Backwards? For me, forwards holds little interest. I don’t want to go forwards to a time that I will never see. I work on the principle of ‘what you never had you never miss.’

No, I would choose to go backwards. And not  to some far and distant past. I would choose to go back to  23rd March 2007  – the day when my father died.

My father was a good man. He raised a family of three and worked hard all of his life supporting us and mum. He was quite a hard man. I think people of dads era were, mostly. Dad had been in the war and I have his medals in a drawer upstairs. He had eight years of being ‘poorly’ but it didn’t phase him at all. He just got on with it. But with each passing year came further problems. He had a ruptured aorta and by some miracle and the expertise of the Intensive Care Ward pulled through. They saved his life but during the operation his kidneys were damaged and although he recovered he was never the same. As I said, he was a tough old sod. He never said he loved me. And it wasn’t  in his nature to fawn over us. We grew up thinking that was the right thing to do, never show our feelings. That little quirk has caused me problems all of my life – until I saw the error in it.

Dad was in hospital on his eighty-fourth birthday and he died two days later. I had sat with him from 3.00 am Friday morning until 5.00pm in the afternoon. During this time I was informed that they could do no more for him and that he was in a coma and dying. They told me he wouldn’t die ‘for a good while yet’ so I decided to pop home and feed the animals etc and come straight back. I kissed dad on his head and said I’d be back  – but if he had to go before I returned to look out for mum and his two retrievers, Rhia and Seta. I told him they would all be waiting for him on some golden hill somewhere.

Dad died before I reached home.

If I could pop into my time-travel capsule I would return to that day. I would hold his hand. And I would be there when his journey began. Dad told me three times on that day that he loved me and I would love to hear those words again.

But knowing dad he would probably have found some way round it. He wouldn’t have wanted us crying over him and showing  weakness. As it was I cried alone, in my bedroom, solidly, for an hour. And I still cry now because I miss the old sod and his pretend, stiff, upper-lip.

Whoa! This is becoming way too serious. This is all Richards fault – again! He was the one who mentioned time travel. I was happy enough watching cows calving on the rug in front of the fire.

Actually, I know I’m not alone in this. I can imagine many of you wishing you could go back and have just one more day, one more hour with loved ones? Maybe, one day it will be possible but I think that a far better bet is to give our loved ones a bloody good cuddle now and drop the attitude and let them know how  much we love them?

 

Back to normal tomorrow.

 

Take take my lovelies x

 

 

 

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18 thoughts on “Time Travel …Really? …

  1. We play the what if game regularly. I’m sorry about your father. I can empathise with being given the news that there’s nothing more that can be done. I don’t think we ever stop missing parents. I never heard the words I love you either and emotion is still discouraged on my side of the family.

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    • I think ‘showing emotion’ is only a recently accepted thing to be honest. Mind, everyone kisses everyone now. You can have too much of a good thing!! Thank you for your comments. I always welcome them xx

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  2. Somehow I think your Dad chose to pass as you were away, not because he wanted to rob you of the chance to to with him but just that he wanted to go alone, independent and strong as he was in life – V

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  3. Heartbreaking post Gail, so sad and moving. But I have heard it said time and again, that people often prefer to die alone, so as not to put their loved ones through suffering, it’s their final act of kindness. And you hear again and again of ‘signs’ from a recently passed away loved one, that show they know they’re missed. Gail you are very clever, you can make me laugh and make me almost cry.

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  4. I agree, I think if you had stayed he would have tried to hold on until you did leave. He needed to go on his last journey alone. Bless you Gail! I would need my own time travel machine to back numerous times to different points in my life to change things but all of that would be pointless because I would no longer be me. What I have experienced and how I have reacted/dealt with these experiences have made me who I am today, to change any one of these would change who I have become.
    Sorry that got a bit deep. Thanks for the post Gail.

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    • Thank you for your comments Adele. I think we could all go back to many moments in our past and revisit loved ones. Like you I wouldn’t change a thing, because the journey you travel, makes the person you become. It took me many years to be happy in my own skin – at last I am! x

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  5. It was a sad post, but as everyone else has said i think it was better that your dad passed with out you there, this way you are able to remember him how he was and not remember watching him go. Hope that makes sense. As for time travel the only reason i think i would go back in time is to change how confident i could have been so i could have carried it on through to the future. Great post.

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  6. I think you are right Jaki. And as far as confidence is concerned, I think we all wish we could have had a bit more of it when we were younger. But you are getting there now …Mrs Confident Jaki!!

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