March …A Month Of Mixed Emotions …

Hi All

Yesterday was a rant day and as you know I rarely have two rant days in a row, so today I am going to talk about the weather and the lovely month of March.

Firstly the weather. It is a horrible, grey, foggy, drizzly day today and it instills little enthusiasm for the great outdoors. I’m thinking the chucks will have a very short spell out today, much to the relief of any brave bugs that might be flitting around.

So that’s the weather discussed.

The lovely month of March. Hmm. A month of two halves. I don’t really know what that means. I heard it on some football commentary as I hurtled through the TV stations. Seems a pretty stupid thing to say, if you ask me. Football IS a game of two halves, isn’t it? Whatever. I miss the point of that comment so I’ll move on.

March, for me, is a happy/sad month. It is Richards birthday on the 12th and it is also the date on which my dear mum passed away.

For the years immediately following mum’s death, Richard, sadly to say, remained in the shadows and took second place. March 12th became the date on which my mum had died. Flowers were taken to the church, her stone wiped over and the grave set fare. It marked the tone for the day and no amount of birthday cards, gifts or well-wishes could lift that tone. And then one year, when Richard was working, I went to mum’s grave alone. I took the flowers. I cleaned her stone and I set fare the grave …and then I told mum that I would never fail to ‘see’ her on this date each year but from that point onwards the date and day had to belong to Richard. I needed to move on and think a little bit more about the living.

There is still a sadness within me, because I no longer have my mum. Every girl needs her mum. But I shall make Richard’s cake and trudge off out into the wilds of Leicestershire to buy him his present, although, having said that, he will probably opt for the cash and buy something for dear old Betsy (Land Rover ) His Christmas present was a carburettor  for Betsy – pile of scrap if you ask me! He is supposed to have the flipping thing on the road by now but no … We had a massive discussion (argument) when he spent money insuring the thing last year.

I said, ‘Why insure it when it isn’t running. It’s a waste of insurance.’

He said, ‘I need it insuring in case anyone steals it.’

I said, ‘How the frig is anyone going to steal it when it doesn’t run?’

Makes sense? You would think so but no, off he trotted to insure the thing. That was six months ago and it still isn’t running! Apparent he is waiting for the weather to warm up. Well good luck with that!

But I digress … before this, there is Mother’s Day. It broke my heart when mum first passed, to walk down the card sections and see the beautiful sentiments. I actually avoided doing it but sometimes I’d find myself, wet-eyed, fingering each card, considering which one I would send to her if she was still here.

Then we have March 21st. The first day of spring. My father’s birthday.

Dad passed away six years ago, two days after his eighty-third birthday, on March 23rd, and I miss him dreadfully, as I have mentioned in previous blogs.

It is easy being an orphan.

So I have mixed feelings about this month of March. Two great men were born in this month, Richard and my father. And two lovely people died in this month, my mum and my dad.

So I guess I just need to say that if you are still lucky enough to have your mum in your life, give her an extra special hug this Mother’s Day. Because I guess I took it for granted that my mum would always be around. That I would always be able to buy her another card and flowers or whatever. Well, you do don’t you? If that wasn’t the case no one would have said those words, ‘You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.’

Frankly, I’m looking forwards to April.MH900444728

Take care my lovelies x

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17 thoughts on “March …A Month Of Mixed Emotions …

  1. Very moving post Gail. Yes, you always miss your mother, mine was the type who, if I lost a job or failed an exam, she would always say the right thing, boost your confidence, make you feel as if it would all work out for the best. She had a hard life, alcoholic father, descent into penury, and determined that her children would have the best possible start she could manage, and I will always appreciate that. Happy birthday to Richard. And, the point is, someone might have vandalised Betsy, or put her on a car transporter to steal her, so insurance is important.

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    • Geoffrey! You take Richards side every time regarding Betsy! I’m going to put ‘her’ on a transporter myself and send her down to you at this rate! (just joking – I think!)

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  2. Such a heartwarming post, i am thinking of you hun, just make sure you remember all the good times you had with your mum. Shes still in your heart and always will be. xxxx

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  3. Happy Birthday Richard. Sorry you lost your mum on the same date, it will always be there. My mother died in late February in 1994, yes, I miss her. My dad was born in March, and he has long gone now. I miss him VERY MUCH. I was a daddy’s girl. We had much more in common than I had with mum but, mum will always be there in different ways/ I know what you mean by feeling you are an orphan. I felt like that. Not now, that has passed. I was glad that mum went, she had Altzheimers, not a good thing. So, almost 20 years have passed, time does heal.

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  4. Very moving Gail, not an easy month for you to get through. Enjoy Richards birthday with him even though you will be thinking of your mum also. You obviously had a very close relationship with both your parents, hang onto that and remember the good times.
    I feel I have only just begun to get to know my mum, she said that she felt she lost me somewhere along the way when I was about 8/9 and that she has just got me back since December. Our relationship is stronger than ever, I speak to her 2 or 3 times every day. I don’t know what I will do when she has gone.
    My father I lost to all intents and purposes 7 years ago when he disowned me.

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    • Thank you Adele. It is good that things are working out this way for you now with your mum. But don’t bring sorrow to the relationship by wondering what will happen when she has gone. Enjoy the days!! That is all we can all do really, hey? As Mae West said,’You only live once …but if you do it right …once is enough! xx

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  5. I miss my mum it has been 1 year 7 months and 3 days since she passed and it still feels very raw. The miserable wet weather is doing nothing to lift my spirits but meeting the dogs for therapy at Crufts helped and the cat helped too. I think you may need to home another cat. The power of 2 purring is greater than the power of 1, but is Chea a 1 cat only cat for your household?

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  6. Hi Babs, Yes I think Chea will remain the only one. We had two cats before Chea and they ended up hating each other. The Burmese picked on Mishka and beat her up, and as they got older they had to have separate diets for health reasons and it was a bit of a nightmare. We had to keep them separated most of the time so it was really just like having one cat. They were never company for each other. Chea has fitted in so well and is a real little love. But I never say never!!

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    • I have a multicat household and I have seen them fight and then curl up and sleep together. The behavioural experts categorically say that cats aren’t pack animals yet I know there’s a top cat in any group of cats I put together. I think finding the right personalities when housing 2 or more cats together is essential and a reasonably docile male may actually make Chea happy. My beautiful snow marble Blizzie thinks the boy I put her with is her pet cat! It’s about balance. I find putting a cat by him or herself here invites mischief, not the good kind either…

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    • I said no to having Chea. After losing all three of our oldies (2 cats and a border collie) in eighteen months I couldn’t see my way clear to having another. Losing them breaks my heart because they all become massively important members of the family. And nineteen years is longer than some people have people in their lives, so Mishka was a terrible loss. But I had a rush of blood to the head and called in at the RSPCA on the way back home from a shopping trip and the rest is history. I’d popped in before but when I saw Chea I knew instantly that she was meant to be. She’s lovely and has recently learnt to retrieve her skanky felt toy so that we throw it for her. x

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