March …A Month Of Mixed Emotions …

Hi All

Yesterday was a rant day and as you know I rarely have two rant days in a row, so today I am going to talk about the weather and the lovely month of March.

Firstly the weather. It is a horrible, grey, foggy, drizzly day today and it instills little enthusiasm for the great outdoors. I’m thinking the chucks will have a very short spell out today, much to the relief of any brave bugs that might be flitting around.

So that’s the weather discussed.

The lovely month of March. Hmm. A month of two halves. I don’t really know what that means. I heard it on some football commentary as I hurtled through the TV stations. Seems a pretty stupid thing to say, if you ask me. Football IS a game of two halves, isn’t it? Whatever. I miss the point of that comment so I’ll move on.

March, for me, is a happy/sad month. It is Richards birthday on the 12th and it is also the date on which my dear mum passed away.

For the years immediately following mum’s death, Richard, sadly to say, remained in the shadows and took second place. March 12th became the date on which my mum had died. Flowers were taken to the church, her stone wiped over and the grave set fare. It marked the tone for the day and no amount of birthday cards, gifts or well-wishes could lift that tone. And then one year, when Richard was working, I went to mum’s grave alone. I took the flowers. I cleaned her stone and I set fare the grave …and then I told mum that I would never fail to ‘see’ her on this date each year but from that point onwards the date and day had to belong to Richard. I needed to move on and think a little bit more about the living.

There is still a sadness within me, because I no longer have my mum. Every girl needs her mum. But I shall make Richard’s cake and trudge off out into the wilds of Leicestershire to buy him his present, although, having said that, he will probably opt for the cash and buy something for dear old Betsy (Land Rover ) His Christmas present was a carburettor  for Betsy – pile of scrap if you ask me! He is supposed to have the flipping thing on the road by now but no … We had a massive discussion (argument) when he spent money insuring the thing last year.

I said, ‘Why insure it when it isn’t running. It’s a waste of insurance.’

He said, ‘I need it insuring in case anyone steals it.’

I said, ‘How the frig is anyone going to steal it when it doesn’t run?’

Makes sense? You would think so but no, off he trotted to insure the thing. That was six months ago and it still isn’t running! Apparent he is waiting for the weather to warm up. Well good luck with that!

But I digress … before this, there is Mother’s Day. It broke my heart when mum first passed, to walk down the card sections and see the beautiful sentiments. I actually avoided doing it but sometimes I’d find myself, wet-eyed, fingering each card, considering which one I would send to her if she was still here.

Then we have March 21st. The first day of spring. My father’s birthday.

Dad passed away six years ago, two days after his eighty-third birthday, on March 23rd, and I miss him dreadfully, as I have mentioned in previous blogs.

It is easy being an orphan.

So I have mixed feelings about this month of March. Two great men were born in this month, Richard and my father. And two lovely people died in this month, my mum and my dad.

So I guess I just need to say that if you are still lucky enough to have your mum in your life, give her an extra special hug this Mother’s Day. Because I guess I took it for granted that my mum would always be around. That I would always be able to buy her another card and flowers or whatever. Well, you do don’t you? If that wasn’t the case no one would have said those words, ‘You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.’

Frankly, I’m looking forwards to April.

Take care my lovelies x