If Baby Cabbages Call – Are You A Writer?

Morning All

As I sit waiting for a thought to enter my head, I’ve glanced up and out into the garden and a little mouse is quartering the rockery beneath the bird table. A cute little thing with boundless energy, hopping from one rock to another.

It all becomes perfectly clear now why Chea spends so much time in that area. She has no idea what the fascination is because she has never seen a mouse. We did catch her the other day about to consume a baby dunnock. Its death was not down to her. It had obviously fallen from its nest. With bulbous eyes and gaping beak it was not the prettiest thing. Hard to imagine that anything so butt-ugly could metamorphose into something so beautiful. However … this has nothing to do with the title of this blog so …

The realisation that I am a fraud has finally settled in my brain. You see, I don’t think I am manic enough to be a writer. I see these (real) writers  whacking out posts about how great their books are and if you don’t rush out and buy a copy now you are an idiot – and I just grimace. It probably works for them because they have the necessary balls to do it. I don’t. I’ve told you all this a fair few times and I’m going to tell you again – I can’t sell myself. I can’t write those posts and press enter. So if I can’t do that, then, why write? Why produce stuff, self-publish and then leave it sitting there?

Each time I write a blog and press ‘publish’ I think, ‘Oh, maybe I should have filled the page with links to  my books?’  But did I? Do I? Nah.

I have the bloody things all over the place; Amazon, Smashwords, Feedaread. I reckon that’s where they will have to jolly well stay until I learn how to type posts and tweets with my eyes shut and press the enter tab.

And another thing, I find the distraction of the garden and the needs of my seedlings paramount. I have a polystyrene pack of baby cabbages calling me right now saying, ‘Gail, come and put us in the garden.’ Yeah, I know, if I hear cabbages talking to me I’ve frigging lost the plot.

Everyone seems SO serious and full-to-the-brim with writing and selling and stuff. How do people do that? I don’t think I can find the manic level of involvement to say that I am a ‘real’ writer. Bugger. That’s a real bummer, hey mate?

Don’t get me wrong, I can post a link on Facebook and twitter but ‘real’ writers appear to be in every ‘group’ imaginable. And they all talk the talk. I can’t do that. Maybe, at the end of the day it just comes down to the fact that I’m not prepared to do the cringy stuff and as a self-published writer you have to?

I can’t do hero-worship either. I just can’t. I love Johhny Depp. I don’t mean ‘love,’ I mean I think he’s OK. A good actor who isn’t typecast. And if he knocked on my door one night after his car had run out of petrol he’d be invited in and offered a drink  – but it would be in a mug and he would have to drop the airs and graces if he wanted running to the petrol station. I don’t believe that just because someone is pretty, rich and successful it gives them any right to place themselves higher than anyone else.

I’m rambling – sorry.

I’ll end on something that does please me immensely – Chea. Her trips out into the garden with me have lengthened  She adores the garden and I find massive pleasure in watching her antics. Every insect is a fascination to her. And bees are now ranked as her favourite. A very dangerous favourite, I might add. It’s only a matter of time, minutes most likely, before the patting paw pats a little too hard and she is left with a sting in her pad. But the only way to learn something is by experience.  Yesterday she was sitting in the dry soil playing with a spider. It was a very one-sided game. She hasn’t quite grasped why her playmates suddenly stop playing!

The sun is shining. I have the day to myself. Should I whack out a few links to the books? Should I flood out Facebook with book covers? Find the link to Smashwords and tsunami twitter with it? Well I could  – but have you ever tried ignoring the voices of ten baby cabbages drifting down the garden and towards you? It’s a heart-breaker …

I shall try harder tomorrow. The reading public will never know what hit them.


Take care my lovelies x

14 thoughts on “If Baby Cabbages Call – Are You A Writer?

  1. You are lovely and your books will sell themselves. I agree with you that it’s cringeworthy to do the whole self-promotion thing (is it being British, do you think??) but your bubbly posts are enough to put anyone in a good mood and I salute you for writing your blog on a regular basis. I am woefully bad at all that. So – pat yourself on the back, you’re doing a fab job – and get out there and enjoy your garden!


  2. I know exactly what you mean, Gail. It’s so embarrassing saying ‘my book is wonderful’ and blarting on about it. Personally I enjoy writing, creating stories and mysteries, I want to do that and nothing else, certainly not try and be a salesman. But your self deprecating charm sells your books, your lovely blogs that lift everyone’s spirits. As I think you said, ‘look after the cabbages and the books will take care of themselves.’


  3. Something was said once about ‘;cabbages and kings’. well in this case, it is cabbages and a queen, well two if you count Chea. How old is she now, by the way? I had the call of ‘cut the branches that fell down last snow’ this a.m. I already started it Saturday morning, and it has to be warm, I have to sit ‘cos I cannot stand for more than 5/10 mins at the most. So, I cut up a fair amount, filled the Council green bag I(no, I haven’t paid the dosh yet, so will keep it on the step). It was nice out there, pigeons cooing, aircraft droning, helicopter dash across the skies, people walking by – not many- and all’s right with the world. Well, it wasn’;t as there was a whole lot of sirons going on at first. Guess there was an accident or something on the road just up the ways.
    This Gail, is how you promote, you talk, like you can talk. I have found out that you have to promote or no one knows you’re there. You may have been at it (epubbing) longer than I have so, in for a penny. Write, promote when you can, get on others author interviews. You never know! meanwhile, plant those cabbages, beans whatever. I envy the home grown veg. that I can no longer deal with. I loved my own tomatoes. I like my toms sweet and edible unlike the ordinary ones in the supermarkets these days, yes I can get some, but they are much more exspensive. I mean, nearly 3 quid for a dsmall tray! Tsk! Tsk!
    Evelyn ps you see, I love talking to people.


    • Hahaha Evelyn, you make me smile. You go steady with wood cutting!! Chea is around 10 months now, I think. She’s a darling really. Good company for me because I do spend a lot of time on my own with Richards silly work pattern. She’s started lying in the soil, watching me gardening,which is lovely. Mind, she has a fascination with the rows of string which mark out the veggie seeds. I did notice today that some radish are coming up so she hasn’t stomped on them all! A small price to pay for such good company. x


  4. Your blog is itself an enjoyable read. You don’t need to constantly repeat about the books as they are mentioned just enough for us the reader to be aware of them while the jovial and enjoyable posts that I’ve read are more than good enough advertising for your writing. I’m certainly going to purchase a book of yours for my wife (and I’ll no doubt read it too) when I next go to buy one for her 🙂 Maybe if you had to spend time writing across lots of different outlets the quality would suffer and the real you would not be as well portrayed? Keep up the good work. 🙂


  5. Nice one, Jennie-Gail! I’ve decided to call you Jennie-Gail, not because you’ve confused me, heaven forbid! No, but because, like a nightingale, you sing so sweetly, or write anyway! I agree, I’m not good at all the self promo stuff either. I’ve been giving it a go, but it’s really not me. I can tell Mrs Public that my books are there…but I’d rather she told me if they’re any good or not. Self-praise feels sinful somehow. 🙂


  6. Well Mud said it all really. Oh and I’ll hold him to that promise of one of your books 😀 The thing is, the quality of your writing here had already led me to visit your book ‘Starfish’ on Amazon and I read the taster, so a copy of the book was already on my wish list (along with the jigsaws I collect and gardening paraphernalia – see how fuddy duddy I am :)).

    I believe that if you don’t feel comfortable selling yourself, then this will come across to your audience and, in many ways, do more harm than good, as this uncomfortableness could be perceived as a lack of conviction in your own work – if that makes sense.

    As for hearing the voices of your baby cabbages, I hear seed in packets talking to me and that really is worrying 😀


  7. Just written the longest reply ever and it’s disappeared! I am NOT happy. First, I dont think you are at all a fuddy duddy. I love all things gardening orientated. When my elderly neighbour passed away his son said for me to help myself to anything I might want from the garden and I chose 2 ancient forks and a spade, all sharpened and gleaming. Far better that anything you might buy these days. I also took 3 blackcurrant bushes and 2 gooseberry bushes. Last year we made wine from the blackcurrants and each time I see the bottles I think of George. This year it will be jam.
    I ‘get’ totally what you say about how my dillying could be perceived. I either have to accept this or pull up the old socks and get over it!! Watch this space. You’ll wake one morning to find me all over the place haha. By the way, Starfish is pretty much a romance with grit and Mulligan is a feisty romantic suspense. The leading females in each couldn’t be any more different!! The short story collection, Eternal, is nice – a story to suit most tastes. THERE have I sold them?? haha x PS Is it Elaine? Can’t keep calling you the Landy’s Wife!!


    • Lol, yes it is Elaine – I hide behind the anonymity of my blog title and then Mud (or Word Press) goes and outs me 😀

      I might have to go and see if there is a preview of the other two books as well but this may confuse the issue – I may well put all three on the list and let him surprise me.



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