Love Means Never Having To Chop Off A Finger …Ever!


I’m wondering, seriously, how much stress I had in my life before I purchased my first computer?

It probably wasn’t too bad back then, because back then I hadn’t self-published novels, joined twitter, fb, writers’ groups and attempted to consider myself  a techno dude. The only real problem back then was finding the energy to dust the mammoth of a thing which took over the entire box room. It did have one good point. If I kept the box room door closed the computer generated enough heat to warm me nicely even on the coldest of days.

Recently I have purchased an all dancing, all singing, state of the art laptop. Lovely wide-screen. Super silent keys when pounded. Perfecto. It has fingerprint password access. Super. Or at least it was super. The fingerprint access has ceased to work and I can’t remember my Windows password to get it working again.

I am blaming Chea for this. Her trots across the keypad can’t help. I told you once how she almost transferred £5,000 from my bank account, (which, by the way wasn’t in it) instead of £50 by bouncing across the top keys at the moment of transfer. It was pretty much a kitten thing and she tends not to do it these days. But what other reason could there be? I wouldn’t have messed up, would I?

I also leave it constantly charging and it is now telling me that it is 95% charged and not charging so I’ve plugged the plug and I’m going to let the battery run right down. Someone told me you have to do that with ALL batteries – but they were probably lying!

Isn’t this interesting?

You’re right, it’s bloody boring. How do you think I feel? And another thing … it keeps losing the internet connection. I think, come September, when all the evening classes start up at the local college, I’m going to take myself off there and take a course in this techno crap.

The weird thing is I am really top-dog at some things on here. No, really, I am. But it was only recently that my son ending up in wide-eyed amazement, almost rolling on the floor in manic laughter because he discovered I didn’t know how to cut and paste. Cut and paste? I thought that was a wallpapering term. Cut the bloody paper to the right length, paste it and slap it on the wall. Apparently not.

To be honest most of my success is by default. It just happens. But then I reckon life is like that. We achieve stuff by default.

And we are all good at something. Can my son trim an Airedale terrier to show standard? No. Can I? No. Haha I jest. I can actually. And I can make, ice and cobble together, a three-tied wedding cake. Neither of these ‘talents’ have any bearing whatsoever on this techno stuff though.

Richard said if I die he’ll have to chop off my index finger so that he can access my laptop. Charming. Not sure how long fingerprints last when rigour has kicked in. Not sure I’d want a rotting finger sitting at the side of the computer. I’m being silly. Obviously there is a ‘manual’ override password but I’m afraid I’d have to take that with me to my grave. I wouldn’t want Richard loving me in this life and then accessing this blog, reading everything I’ve said about his festering tooth and such, and changing his mind about his dearly departed. When I go I want to leave a gaping hole a mile wide in his life – as he will mine.

He’s just risen from his pitHPIM2724, walked into the kitchen and said, ‘Hello beautiful.’

I said, ‘Hello,’ and turned my sweet face towards him.

He was stroking Chea.

Says it all really. See. This is why he is NOT chopping off my finger.

Have a lovely Sunday.

Take care my lovelies x

10 thoughts on “Love Means Never Having To Chop Off A Finger …Ever!

  1. What a joy your blogs are. Loved the hello beautiful bit, and Chea bei g before his eyes. Typical. They have their good points, well not mine but…most, and they have their uses. otherwise, why would we put up with them? I can cut and pate with the best of them, it is just the techno stuff I have trouble with. Like opening a doc. Evelyn Steward


  2. I know just how you feel (I’m referring to the Richard/Chea incident) only Ciggy is the thing he looks lovingly at and admires.

    And let’s not mention the complete lack of concern, when I very nearly broke my back/legs/arms this morning carrying one of those really heavy barrels away from the ‘painting zone’ (that would be the outdoor eating area to most people), to make way for the other barrel which I backed into hence the very nearly broken bones: “Should have looked where you were going!” was the height of his concern. Did I mention I was the one walking BACKWARDS carrying the barrel!!!

    Wonder if it’s a man thing or a Land Rover owner thing?



    • I can’t believe how similar you and Mud sound to us! I actually think the fault lies with you and I Elaine. We have proved we can hold our hold and they let us. I’ve just had a whiz on your blog/web. Those Yorkshire puddings are mammoth! You’ve so much interesting stuff on there. I’ll have to go back and read some more! xx


      • Oh, I have definitely made a rod for my own back where Mud is concerned. I should have been demanding clothes, shoes and spar treatments in return for my hard graft. He doesn’t know how lucky he is (well actually he does because I constantly point out how low maintenance I am :))

        Thank you for your kind comments about my blog and the Yorkshires 🙂


  3. Lol. Know just what you mean with all the techno stuff. Every time I feel chuffed cos I’ve managed something new, I find there’s two things I still can’t do but need to do. Nice post, JennieGail x


    • Haha JennieGail – loving it. I have JUST sorted out the fingerprint access to Windows! I’m like a dog with a bone – I won’t let things beat me. The consequence is I’ve buggered about and done nothing of real value. It’s thrashing down here – but it’s good for the baby cabbages. A positive from every negative hey Christine? xx


      • Absolutely! Whenever there’s something new to do, it’s just great to still want, and still be able, to meet the challenge. Makes life more fun than if we knew how to do everything already. X


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