Just let me say, for those of you in Betsy the Land Rover’s fan club, that the poor dear is booked in for her MOT on Wednesday. Richard had another little tinker under her bonnet yesterday afternoon and declared her ready. Well, what he actually said was he needed to get her MOT tested so that he knows what the remaining problems are. The biggest problem, as far as I can see, is the fact that she is still here, leaking oil all over the front of the house. Apparently Land Rovers do this. It is a ‘feature’ of them. I’m saying no more because I’m trying to stay calm and not stress myself out.
I am shattered. I didn’t sleep last night and I have woken this morning with a clacky throat. You know, the kind of throat that you just know is going to develop into some lergy-type thing. I’m wondering if I have caught bird flu or something from my sick chicken? Talking of the sick chuck – she is hanging on by the skin of her sore bum and I haven’t totally written her off. She may just make it. I guess that is tempting fate?
Chea thinks it is great fun to hide in the shrubbery (a few bushes …but I call it a shrubbery) and leap out at the chucks. Her ‘attacks’ fall short of actually catching them. Until now they have always run away and Chea has bombed off to another hiding spot where she waits until they have forgotten she’s there and then leap out and scare them again. Cat’s are very patient that way. The point I am getting to is this …
Yesterday, as Chea broke cover and scooted across the lawn at Beautiful, she turned around, fanned out her neck feathers and RAN at Chea. I almost choked on my Jammie Dodger. It wasn’t much of an attack …THAT came later in the day.
I was happily minding my own business, removing duck-weed from the pond, when Chea began stalking Beautiful. I watched with dripping net as Chea crept ever closer. When she was a metre away Beautiful fluffed out her feathers and ran at Chea and this time she meant it. Instead of aborting the attack, Beautiful threw her feet forwards and landed on Chea’s back, knocking her over and almost clapping her wings in glee as she rolled off the lawn and onto the garden. I cracked up. I had no choice. Chea has been taunting and teasing the chucks since the first day she came across them so I considered it payback. And besides, Chea is far too cocky for her own good. It taught her nothing, of course, and the pantomime continues …
I gave my spare chuck cage to Lauren (dog groomer friend from two-doors down) at the weekend. She said she was going to dismantle it and store it until her and her fiancée, Ashley, get their own place. Lauren is bonkers where animals are concerned. I think that is why we get on so well. That and the fact that she appears to like crazy people …
When they called round to collect the cage the plan had changed. They had decided to take the cage as it was – made up and functional. She said she would like to have two chickens but her mum wouldn’t let her and what would I do? I said I’d just go and buy two chucks, life’s too short, and what difference would it make to anything. They were going to be contained in a cage. Ashley shrank visibly at this comment. I left it at that.
An hour later and Lauren and Ashley turned up with a box containing two chickens! Fifteen minutes later and the same box, with chickens, was loaded back into the car. Lauren’s mum had gone ape-shit and told her to take them to Ashley’s house – with the cage! Twenty minutes later and Lauren rang my mobile to say that they were at Ashley’s house, about to unload the chucks, and her dad had just rung her to say that she could bring the chucks back and have them on a weeks trial. Fifteen minutes later – back came the chucks. They are now happily clucking in Lauren’s garden and being stalked by Eddie, Lauren’s dog. Oh to be a poor chuck and stalked by all things!
I’m sure they will stay. Often the fear of these things is the fear of the unknown. Obviously I got the blame. So what! Two chucks! Hardly Bernard Matthews is it? I LOVE living here. It is SO entertaining!
PS I thought it might be nice to mention, now and then, other friends who deserve a little look?
Today I’ll bring to your attention two eBooks by Geoffrey West – a genuinely, all-round, nice guy. ( 0.77p each)
And also – Black On White – a really nice writers’ group that you might like to join?