As Harry Hill Would Say …Fighttttttttt!!

Good Morning

Just let me say, for those of you in Betsy the Land Rover’s fan club,  that the poor dear is booked in for her MOT on Wednesday. Richard had another little tinker under her bonnet yesterday afternoon and declared her ready. Well, what he actually said was he needed to get her MOT tested so that he knows what the remaining problems are. The biggest problem, as far as I can see, is the fact that she is still here, leaking oil all over the front of the house. Apparently Land Rovers do this. It is a ‘feature’ of them. I’m saying no more because I’m trying to stay calm and not stress myself out. 

I am shattered. I didn’t sleep last night and I have woken this morning with a clacky throat. You know, the kind of throat that you just know is going to develop into some lergy-type thing. I’m wondering if I have caught bird flu or something from my sick chicken? Talking of the sick chuck – she is hanging on by the skin of her sore bum and I haven’t totally written her off. She may just make it. I guess that is tempting fate? 

Chea thinks it is great fun to hide in the shrubbery (a few bushes …but I call  it a shrubbery) and leap out at the chucks. Her ‘attacks’ fall short of actually catching  them. Until now they have always run away and Chea has bombed off to another hiding spot where she waits until they have forgotten she’s there and then leap out and scare them again. Cat’s are very patient that way. The point I am getting to is this …

Yesterday, as Chea broke cover and scooted across the lawn at Beautiful, she turned around, fanned out her neck feathers and RAN at Chea. I almost choked on my Jammie Dodger. It wasn’t much of an attack …THAT came later in the day.

I was happily minding my own business, removing duck-weed from the pond, when Chea began stalking Beautiful. I watched with dripping net as Chea crept ever closer. When she was a metre away Beautiful fluffed out her feathers and ran at Chea and this time she meant it. Instead of aborting the attack, Beautiful threw her feet forwards and landed on Chea’s back, knocking her over and almost clapping her wings in glee as she rolled off the lawn and onto the garden. I cracked up. I had no choice. Chea has been taunting and teasing the chucks since the first day she came across them so I considered it payback. And besides, Chea is far too cocky for her own good. It taught her nothing, of course, and the pantomime continues …

I gave my spare chuck cage to Lauren (dog groomer friend from two-doors down) at the weekend. She said she was going to dismantle it and store it until her and her fiancée, Ashley, get their own place. Lauren is bonkers where animals are concerned. I think that is why we get on so well. That and the fact that she appears to like crazy people … 

When they called round to collect the cage the plan had changed. They had decided to take the cage as it was – made up and functional. She said she would like to have two chickens but her mum wouldn’t let her and what would I do? I said I’d just go and buy two chucks, life’s too short, and what difference would it make to anything. They were going to be contained in a cage. Ashley shrank visibly at this comment. I left it at that.

An hour later and Lauren and Ashley turned up with a box containing two chickens! Fifteen minutes later and the same box, with chickens, was loaded back into the car. Lauren’s mum had gone ape-shit and told her to take them to Ashley’s house – with the cage! Twenty minutes later and Lauren rang my mobile to say that they were at Ashley’s house, about to unload the chucks, and her dad had just rung her to say that she could bring the chucks back and have them on a weeks trial. Fifteen minutes later – back came the chucks. They are now happily clucking in Lauren’s garden and being stalked by Eddie, Lauren’s dog. Oh to be a poor chuck and stalked by all things!

I’m sure they will stay. Often the fear of these things is the fear of the unknown. Obviously I got the blame. So what! Two chucks! Hardly Bernard Matthews is it? I LOVE  living here. It is SO entertaining!

 

Take care my lovelies xHPIM2895

 

PS I thought it might be nice to mention, now and then, other friends who deserve a little look?

Today I’ll bring to your attention two eBooks by Geoffrey West – a genuinely, all-round, nice guy. ( 0.77p  each)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/RocknRoll-Suicide-Lockwood-mysteries-ebook/dp/B009XA5SQ4 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Doppelganger-Jack-Lockwood-mysteries-ebook/dp/B00B6U64B2/ref=pd_sim_kinc_1

And also – Black On White – a really nice writers’ group that you might like to join?

https://www.facebook.com/groups/566769810009304/

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13 thoughts on “As Harry Hill Would Say …Fighttttttttt!!

  1. Fingers crossed that Betsy passes her MOT. I can concur with Richard on the fact that old Land Rovers are generally leaking oil from somewhere or other – it’s an attention seeking thing I reckon 🙂 Ciggy will often decide to suddenly start leaking her axle oil over the workshop floor, if Annie has had too much attention from Mud – yes I know how bonkers that sounds but it’s the truth!

    Hope your clacky throat doesn’t amount to much. x

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  2. Hello Gail, what a nice thing to say about me and to plug my books, very kind. As for Betsy;s oil leak I once had a Rover 3L, which I believe is a similar engine to the LR (can;t remember, but it’s not the V8, so maybe I am wrong). Certainly with that engine there were oil seals at the front and the back, the back one being the ‘rear main’. They were absolute murder to replace, and tended to fail quite quickly. You had to soak them in oil and ram them up into a semicircular channel, in order to seal the gap between the crank and the casing. To do so you had to take the sump off, lot of fiddling about. Anyway fingers crossed for the MOT. At least Betsy has no computers to worry about. Sorry that Chea has become a kamikaze assassin, and brave Beautiful to jump on her back, what courage. Very good post as always.

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    • Re the book plug – you’re very welcome and it’s pretty easy saying nice things about you because I haven’t found anything to the contrary yet! I don’t think the first computer had been released when Betsy was born!! And I don’t think Richard is expecting it to pass but it will give him a point from which to fix whatever else needs
      fixing. xx

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  3. I have a glaring of cats here, they keep each other in line. I say good on Beautiful, say no to bullying! Sending healing vibes to your poorly chicken.

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  4. Thanks Babs. I’ve just had them out again and she managed a worm so … They are tough old girls and if I can keep her eating and prevent her from getting fly-struck I think she’s in with a chance. Bloody animals!!! I LOVED that the chuck had a go at Chea. It rolled her right over. You should have seen Chea’s face. It said,’ how dare you do that?’ Ha ha xx

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  5. P.S. Tell Richard not to be so pessimistic. You’d be surprised what a Series LR can have wrong and still pass the MOT. Ciggy had a brand new MOT when we got her and her chassis looked to have been put together as part of a Blue Peter masterclass, involving yoghurt pots and sticky back plastic 😉

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  6. Best Wishes for the MOT 🙂

    On a different note – how many eggs do you get from your chickens and do you find the chickens rip up all your plants? Elaine and I have considered getting them in the past but were put off by stories of them destroying veg patches. As we have veg everywhere in the garden we were a bit concerned.

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  7. Strictly speaking, an egg a day. That’s from my hybrids – Rhode Island x Light Sussex. Bantams, being nearer to the ‘wild,’ lay less – but you can have more in the same available space. Egg laying tends to get later each day, then they miss a day and start all over again producing at the crack of dawn. I have short fence (4ft) dividing the pond/shrubbery/flowery bit from the veg patch and they don’t venture over it. I place rings of netting, held in place by a cane, around the base of any thing that matters or is ‘soft’ in the flowery bit and it protects it all. I let them through to the veggie bit and the greenhouse borders in the autumn and winter because they can do no harm. I have them out under supervision but frankly it wouldn’t hurt them to stay in as the area they are kept in would house twenty chickens. I use the summerhouse that I used to dog-groom from and it has an outside run attached. I’m massively freaky about my garden but I will always have chucks. For the effort required they are well worth it and they only find certain veggies appealing – lettuce, cabbage etc. They also keep down the bugs and slugs and snails. If you are prepared to put the thought into it at the beginning I find it easy to have both veg and chucks. They provide interest, friendship, eggs and high nitrogen manure to mix in with your compost. And frankly, chucks turning over your veg plot in the winter certainly improves the soil. Have I sold you on the idea yet?? xxx

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    • Yes, thats brilliant thanks. We’ll consider tham when we do the re-landscaping of the garden to extend the veg garden as I’ll need to build lots of new raised beds and move the existing fences so will have the opportunity to build a chicken run at that point.

      Many thanks,

      Ian

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  8. You know something? Me too. The funny thing is, Beautiful is so laid back and sweet it was like she’d slipped behind a rock as what’s-his-name Banner and come out as the Incredible Hulk! So, so funny. This is the pleasure with animals that many non-animal types just don’t get. It was a priceless moment. Simple – but priceless xx

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