So What Noises ARE Acceptable In The Bedroom? …

Morning All

It’s official. I can’t lie or pretend a second longer – I’m a miserable, pathetic person when I’m sick. This virus, or whatever, slunk innocently under my radar, sat with me for a couple of days without causing too much harm, and then whammed-it to me. I have had this bedfellow for a week now and frankly I’ve had enough. I’m too impatient to be ill. I hate it. I have things to do. People to see …

Well, OK, not people to see exactly. It isn’t like someone sent a copy of Mulligan’s Reach to Steven Spielberg and his people have phoned my people with a view to making it into the next blockbuster. That hasn’t happened – but it could! And I’d be too ill to attend the very important, life-changing meeting. But then again, as I’ve said before, I wouldn’t want dear Steven to direct Mulligan. I saw War Horse and I thought there was so much more that he could have done with that film. I’m a horsey person for sweets sake. If it didn’t make me cry buckets of tears there was something missing. Maybe it wasn’t aimed at horsey people? I did think that Benedict what’s his name was rather super though. Shame he died. I think I may be digressing? Why and how did we get on to War Horse? See, this is what’s happened to my brain. It rambles and does this out-of-the-box thinking thing of its own accord. So, back to me …

I had no voice at all yesterday. And yes, obviously Richard was delighted – other than for the fact that to get his attention I had to punch him. I could have made it a gentle tap, but, I don’t think there has been one point at which he has shown to me the sympathy that I so deserve. AND he had the blatant nerve to actually tell me to make my own cup of tea whilst I was watching Emmerdale! He would NEVER have done that if I had a voice! So cruel that man. So very cruel. He had to vacate the bed the night before last because apparently I was keeping him awake by sleeping on my back and gurgling. Gurgling? Probably a death rattle, more like? I didn’t sleep a wink last night because the tickly cough established  and I was barking every five minutes. Richard was suspiciously quiet but I knew he was awake (who wouldn’t be?) and was thinking, ‘why don’t you just shut up, get up, or die quietly.’ Huh! I have made it a rule to never to do anything quietly. Works for me.

This invasion of my body and mind has also bought with it a general can’t be bothered and defeatist attitude. Yesterday I’d decided that I wasn’t going to be a self-published writer anymore and that I would not do any of the things linked to it. No blogging. No twitter. No Facebook. Nothing. Zilch. And yet, here I am writing this. See? My head is all over the place. I can’t seem to make a decision, and then when I do, I change it. And as I said, I’m hopeless at being ill. It is so time-consuming. I don’t have time for it. My dear mum always used to say, ‘I don’t have time to be ill.’ And frankly, she was rarely ill – until the end – and she even managed to keep that a secret.

When my voice returns I shall be having very serious words with Richard about his attitude towards the sick and the stricken. And I shall also have to bring up (not literally) this ‘gurgling’ thing. I don’t find that very attractive and I’m sure I wasn’t doing it. It is so annoying when you don’t have the voice to answer back.

I’m thinking hot buttered crumpets? And a nice strong cup of Yorkshire tea. And a log on the wood burner (it’s so cold here today – or is it just me?) and a DVD? Or, housework, chucks bums and weeding? No. Don’t think so. I think I am far too poorly for housework, chucks bums and weeding.

But then again, exercise and fresh air will be more beneficial than watching a DVD. Decisions. Decisions. Oh! Hold on! The decision has been made for me – thank goodness. It’s raining. A DVD it is …

 

Take care my lovelies xHPIM2851 - Copy

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14 thoughts on “So What Noises ARE Acceptable In The Bedroom? …

  1. It is cold today! All my ‘already planted out’ veggies are sulking in their allocated places in the various beds, with those still housed in the greenhouse looking relived and a darn sight perkier!

    Hope you’re feeling better soon x

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  2. Thank you Elaine. This is the first year that I’ve had more in the garden than the greenhouse. Everything thing is out. Good job the garden is sheltered. I don’t have a single bit of soil left to plant anything now. So it is just a matter of tending to it and then hopefully eating it. I sent a huge bag of little gems to the neighbour yesterday. x

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  3. Maybe Richard is not as sympathetic because, like me, we have been led to believe that women can tolerate far more pain than men…………. 😉 😉

    Only joking, hope you are feeling better soon.

    Oh it is definately very cold here too, house is like a fridge and I’m sat here shivering and wishing we had some dry logs or some coal to get the fire lit. You wouldn’t think it was summer.

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    • We actually ordered 4 bags of coal from the coal man and still have a fire most nights. The lounge is lovely and cool in the summer but like an ice box at all other times. No wonder I’m bloody ill! And you are quite right, Ian, we can tolerate pain better than you lot – otherwise you’d be having the babies! Richard is off to buy a dynamo tomorrow!! x

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      • LOL, what I’d give for a bucket of coal right now!

        Ah, now as for pain then Elaine will confirm that I can tolerate an awful lot, however this is not because I’m macho or anything, no, it is because I’m scared stiff of going anywhere near a hospital or doctor so tend to put up with things. 🙂

        This does however tend to infuriate Elaine who would rather I go and get medical treatment for something rather than suffer at home and complain when I don’t get any sympathy! 🙂

        Last year I managed to smash my knee with a sledge hammer (whilst fitting the damn suspension bushes to HER truck) so hard I collapsed, vomited and nearly blacked out with the sheer extrutiating pain – Elaine was screaming at me that she was going to call the ambulance but there was no way I was going to hospital so I managed to drag myself, with E’s help, into the back garden while she packed all my tools away. I then downed several large scotch’s and smoked a pack of fags. My knee went a lovely mix of blues and purples and swelled up to the size of a grapefruit but next day I was back fitting the suspension, despite the fact I could hardly put any weight on the knee. I think I must have cracked some bones because my knee, even now a year later, has some strange bumps in it and is still painful when I put weight on it in a certain direction. However all this pain was nothing compared to my fear of the needle that I may be injected with in the hospital (serious phobia!) – of course Elaine didn’t give me much sympathy when I was clearly in pain because she said I could always just go to hospital.

        Have you booked a re-test for Betsy yet? 🙂

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      • That has just had me in stitches! I’m sure it wasn’t intended to but it was so visual I just cracked up – sorry! And again – Richard is exactly the same, He’s going through hell with his calcifying shoulder but he won’t go near to a hospital or doctor to get it sorted. This involves a long needle and then sucking out the calcium but it’s a no no. You must have been in so much pain with that whack to the knee? It’s a wonder you didn’t dislodge the patella or worse. And all in the name of Land Rover repairs/tarting. Betsy isn’t booked in yet. Richard was on nights last week which renders him useless for anything except moaning and his shoulder has been bad this week but I do believe he’s hoping to sort it at the weekend – barring accidents! x

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  4. I tell my husband this…. if you believe that women can handle far more than men- by the time you see me laid up in bed actually LOOKING and ACTING like I am not feeling well then I obviously feel 10X worse than you THINK I do- and 20X worse than you did the last time you, dear hubby, were bedridden with a minor cold- HUMPF!

    lolol 😉 Good luck- hope you feel better soon! 🙂

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    • I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I have had REAL flu once in my life! They get a snivel and they can’t wash a pot, put their dirty pants in the wash basket or anything else. WE carry on when we are ill and only take to our beds as a last resort and when we are half dead. Huh!!! – And I think I may have just lost all the men followers of this blog!! x

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  5. “That has just had me in stitches! I’m sure it wasn’t intended to but it was so visual I just cracked up – sorry”

    LOL, don’t worry Elaine just laughs at me too and anyway I hope it cheered you up…… 😉

    Even ‘funnier’ though was the fact that the sledgehammer hit my ‘good’ knee, my other knee was already knackered from an off roading incident (in a Land Rover!) when I was in my early 20’s that resulted in chipped bone/cartlidge that needs keyhole surgey to fix but I still haven’t gone to hospital to have that done either (20 years later). I just put up with it as it is fine most of the time except when I get stuck in traffic jams and have to use the clutch a lot and then it gets painful and swells up – if it gets that bad in the future I’ll just convert to an automatic gearbox….. 😉

    I used to do nights years ago, it was fine when I was single as the camaraderie was great amongst the night shift and we didn’t have to put up with managers being around however it did tend to screw the social life up when all my family and friends worked days.

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  6. See! See! I told you these Landy’s will kill you – even by default! And you’ll convert to an automatic gearbox rather than get your knee sorted? Tsk. Ian.
    The trouble with nights for Richard is that he is on a three-shift pattern and only does one night shift in three weeks. If it was constant it would be better because his body would adjust to it. The weekend is spent with him slumping around the place and falling asleep. He’s popping up to Matlock after work (2.00 pm) on his motorbike to fetch that part for Betsy. Suppose the weekend will be taken up with that! Never mind. I feel a shopping trip coming on for Saturday xx

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