What A Man Will Do For A Double Sausage Bap!!

Hi All

As I predicted on Friday, no writing of the novel has occurred over the weekend, and yes, I could blame Richard but in this instance that wouldn’t be fair. Believe it or not Richard is massively in favour just now and here is why.

Next’s two-day sale was advertised on the TV on Thursday evening and I excitedly exclaimed to  Richard, who by the way had appeared awake and compos mentis until the advert came on and then appeared to be asleep and dead to the world, ‘Ohhh its Next’s two-day sale, I shall have to go. I don’t suppose you would like to come with me?’

No comment.

‘Would you like a bar of chocolate?’ I said.

Suddenly he was awake, which was a shame because I didn’t have a bar of chocolate.

‘What? What?’ he mumbled, frowning, pretending not to have heard? He truly is a crap actor.

‘It’s Next’s sale. I wondered if you would come with me –‘

‘Oh God! Do I have to?’

At this point I stopped talking to him and watched the telly.

When he came home from work on Friday the subject of ‘what to do over the weekend’ came up so I said, ‘I’m going to the sale in the morning but I don’t suppose you have changed your mind and are coming with me.’

‘Yes, I’ll come,’ he said.

I nearly dropped down dead on the spot! My saving grace was the fact that I knew he had only agreed to it because that damn WWII weekend is booked and he knows me well enough to know that I firmly believe in an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth and would kick against the traces later, and though I would go, I would not let him forget that I was prepared to go to that for him but he wasn’t prepared to stand in a queue with me for forty-five minutes. Scorpios NEVER forget and will hold grudges for a lifetime.

So, the alarm sounded on Saturday morning at 5.00 am and up I jumped, followed by Richard doing his snail impression. He is so good at it that I’m surprised he doesn’t leave a slime trail behind him. We were in the car and sedately driving down the motorway by 5.30 – and this is another weird thing. Whenever we are going anywhere like Next, Ikea or somewhere similar, we travel at an ‘all the time in the world pace’ but when we are going somewhere like a WWII thing or to pick-up Land Rover bits we belt along breaking the sound barrier. However – I digress.

We arrived and joined the queue behind just eight people, with me keeping up a running commentary, until Richard suggested fetching a coffee and a tea from McDonald’s, just over the road. Off he trotted, obviously happy to be away from my early morning cheerfulness, which frankly he has never coped with, and returned shortly with said drinks. Now let me explain why I need Richard to come with me. I don’t need him in the shop, in fact, I definitely DO NOT NEED HIM IN THE SHOP!! I just need him in the queue because my digestive system is quite unreliable and I can be prone to having to dash to the loo at half a moment’s notice and If I were alone I’d lose my place in the queue. And because it is lonely, standing on my tod, I take my iPod, and try as I might, and I do, I can never resist singing along, and don’t even realise I’m doing it until a space widens around me, like the parting of the Red Sea. So Richard gets dragged along  to save my place in the queue. my embarrassment, and to keep me entertained.

As the time moved ever closer to the opening time I realised that I was, in fact, going to be fine, so I said I would pop to McDonald’s and have a quick wee, just to be on the safe side, and that I would bring Richard back a breakfast, which he could eat in the car, because I didn’t need him anymore. This cheered him up no end. In fact he almost smiled!

So he bolted off to the car with a double sausage breakfast bap and a hash brown (see how fast he can move when he wants to?) and I waited for the last twenty minutes on my own. With only thirty seconds to go, a wasp appeared and the shoppers all broke ranks and ran around flapping at the poor creature. This put me right at the front of the queue as the doors opened and off I went.

I found a few bargains but I haven’t had time to try anything on yet. Just between you and me I still have tagged stuff hanging up in a wardrobe that I purchased at last year’s Boxing Day sale (clothes that I purchased – not a wardrobe!)

And yesterday was taken up with picking apples, erecting a frame for the raspberry canes and tearing out a flower-bed to make more room for a veggie garden. This morning my lower back has gone and I could barely get out of bed. Fortunately I’m off to the Physio in a couple of hours for treatment on my neck – that’s if I can get in the car. And then, hopefully, if I can find the enthusiasm, I’m going to really, really, really, blitz my wardrobes and part with everything that I am never going to wear. Fortunately we have three or four charity shops in the town so …

I may try to write the novel – but it’s doubtful. My ‘time’ for writing will have passed by the time I’m back from the Physio and besides, the chucks will be clamouring to come out and I’ve six buckets of apples to do something with? I’m thinking apple juice – lots of it – and freeze it? We tried doing just that the other day and it worked perfectly. Soooo …

Take care my lovelies x

My early morning writing companion!
My early morning writing companion!


PS I have a new pet – Arrow. I’ll tell you about him tomorrow.




14 thoughts on “What A Man Will Do For A Double Sausage Bap!!

  1. We have a dryer thing that I bought years ago. It’s great for drying excess fruit but it’s electric so I suspect it probably costs more to run than we save by drying our own. The one good thing about it is that we know we’re getting pure fruit with no chemicals or additives. Now all I need is a slicing machine. Have fun with your apple juice. 🙂


    • We made cider with the apples last year and we still have some left so we thought we would go for something simple and quick this year – apple juice. We have a cider press but we are thinking we need a shredder to put the apples through first. And you are so right, it’s like everything that you make yourself, you know exactly what’s in it! That’s another reason that I love home-made soup – I bet you do too?? xxx


      • Home-made soup? Oh god yes. My Mum taught me how to make a clear chicken broth and I always have some in the freezer. It makes a great quick meal with angel hair soup noodles, or plain boiled rice, and gives stews and casseroles a depth of flavour that you can’t get otherwise.

        Can’t bear commercial soups. I can always taste the additives they put in, and the salt content is ridiculous.

        Btw we often make a drink called a lassi. It’s freshly squeezed orange juice, one banana, one apple and a heap of plain Greek style yoghurt all blended together like a milkshake. Delicious, and so good for the tummy.


      • Lassi sounds lovely – and gentle on the stomach as you say. A particular favourite soup of mine is butter-nut squash and chilli – very warming but light. Bring on the autumn! xx


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