Sorry Bing…You’re In The Bin…

Hi All

Another month and it will be Christmas Day. Christmas Day! Well I’m not ready for that and I don’t have the ho ho ho spirit yet, either.

In order to address that little problem, I’m listening to the free with the Daily Mail, Bing Crosby Christmas CD, that I made Richard go out and purchase last weekend. Bing is singing White Christmas (my all time favourite Christmas song) as I write this – and I think I may throw the whole system at the wall.

Maybe it’s too early? Or maybe I’m just not trying hard enough?

With the “just not trying hard enough” thought in my mind, and after having been abandoned in the house all last week without a vehicle, I cheerfully announced yesterday morning that we were going to go to Toys ‘R’ Us to start the Christmas shopping. This went down as well as I’d expected (think, lead balloon), but frankly I didn’t care. Richard had messed up the car hire thing by not putting me on the insurance and so he needed to pay the price.

Richard decided we would go to the Derby  Toys ‘R’ Us, because it was further away than the Leicester one. (????) This makes no sense to me at all. I had a little list with the first two items on it that Jake and Grace, (the urchin grandkiddies), would like, and so off we went.

These moments of Richard and I together in the same small area, are never a bad thing, because we always have things to talk about. Usually, I talk about all the stuff that he has done wrong through the week, and he talks about winning the lottery and leaving me. I think that’s a joke?

Yesterday’s conversation was about road kill.

I said, as we passed a smitten pheasant,  ‘You know something? You could actually live on road kill.’

‘That’s right,’ Richard said. ‘You could.’

‘Well, I couldn’t… because I’m a vegetarian and you don’t see much dead cabbage lying on the road, do you?’

‘No,’ he said.

End of conversation.

The next subject was Betty, Richard’s mum. She has to go back into hospital and have some minor op on her hip-joint, the one that has recently been popped back in after popping out for the third time. She says it needs glueing in? This is fine and it shouldn’t be a long stay, however, as I have reported before, a sniff of a hospital and Betty becomes delusional, imagining that the staff are trying to kill her and are plotting against her. This reaction usually prolongs her stay, so we were discussing the logistics of actually managing to get her into a car and get her to us for Christmas Day. Richard suggested that it might be better if he went to see her because no one should have to spend Christmas Day on their own. I agree wholeheartedly, no one should have to spend Christmas Day on their own – unless by choice.

‘I can pop over to see her and then she won’t have to spend all day on her own,’ he said.

‘OK,’ I said. ‘But you won’t be spending all day there, will you?’

‘Er…no…but you know what she’s like once you get there. She expects you to stay for hours and hours.’

Now correct me if I’m wrong, but if Richard spends all day with his mother, won’t I be on my own for Christmas Day? I pointed this out and slowly watched the penny drop.

‘Oh…yeah. That’s right. Hmmm?…’

Yes, I know, I could go with him, and I probably will, but I don’t want to be there all day. I want to have time with the chucks in the garden and watch Chea dismantling the Christmas tree. And I want to stoke up the log burner and watch the crappy TV. I suppose I’m being bloody selfish?

Back to Toy’s ‘R’ Us.

The car park was packed – which really annoyed Richard. We couldn’t find either of the items we were looking for – which really annoyed Richard, and when I asked some stupid girl if they stocked, ‘Marble Run,’ she looked at me like I was bonkers. I don’t mind people who know me looking at me like that, but I draw the line at strangers.  She said she would go and ask, and ten minutes later still had returned, and then I spied her talking to a good-looking bloke who wanted to know how to fit stabilisers on a bike. I threw a fit and stormed out, announcing that the place was crap and that I’d get it off eBay! I was also bloody sure that the Leicester branch would have been better – which I pointed out to Richard on the way back to the car – and that also annoyed him.

Grace wants a child’s Dyson vacuum… well we couldn’t find one of those either, so I stropped off into Curry’s and bought one for myself. Not a child’s. The small one that I can manoeuvre around without buggering up my neck joints any further. Actually, I think Richard uses the vacuum more than I do.

I think all this finally pushed him over the limit because on the way back he blanched and said worriedly, ‘God, I think I have the start of something awful. You won’t believe what I have just seriously thought?’

I shrugged. Could be anything, let’s admit it.

‘I just thought, I’ll have to get Meg out as soon as I get back.’

We exchanged glances.

‘Really? Honestly?’

‘Yes,’ he said.

Meg was our border collie. She’s been dead for two years.083

Joking apart, Richard has been very illogical lately and not his usually self, so I think I need to keep a close eye on him. These horrid things have to begin somewhere.

And on that sober note, and because Bing is about to be binned, I’ll close. I’m sure the Christmas spirit will find me…but not just yet.

Take care my lovelies x

PS I HAVE bought two Christmas puddings!!

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