If They Could See Me Now That Little Gang Of Mine…

Hi All

There have been many occasions, and times during my life, when I have been reminded of those lyrics from Sweet Charity…if they could see me now that little gang of mine, and as I write this I am once again reminded of them. Because if you could see me now you would probably crack-up.

No, I’m not wearing a wet tea towel around my mush while I avoid the migraine-triggering, vinegar smell boiling-up from the chutney, as in the last blog, I am wearing my hair differently and I resemble a curly-whirly. There is a reason and I will tell you, well, you always knew I was going to, didn’t you? Otherwise why would I mention it?

I am going to a wedding. Not my own, because I am too weird for Richard to want to marry me now. He used to want too, and asked me at least three times a week. My answer was always the same…no! I am going to my nephews wedding, in Cornwall. Because I am a troglodyte-type person – happier in compost than Chanel – I spend on average, three minutes a day on my hair. A hand pushed through each side in turn and an applied bobble, pony-tailing it, is as good as it gets. However…

I decided that it was time I tried something a bit different and make a bit of an effort. Why? Lord knows. It seemed like a good idea when the thought leapt into my brain, and so I made an appointment with my lovely hairstylist, Emma.

Emma has known me for some time now and is well aware of my little idiosyncrasies. My fringe must never fall out with my eyebrows. My ears must not be lower than my hair, and one or two other little quirky things that I’d really rather not mention. It was a practice run. We were going to curl my locks and try a few styles. As Emma neatly and professionally curled each segment of hair I sat watching. When every hair was corkscrewed she asked, ‘What do you think of it so far?’

What did I think of it so far? I cracked up, snorting and giggling. All I could see before me was one of those Judge-type dudes, sitting behind a mahogany desk, with the curly wig. After thirty seconds I spluttered, ‘I feel like I should be placing a black cap on my head and giving out the death sentence!’ I couldn’t remove the image and was relieved when Emma ran her hand through my hair and I lost my Judge-locks.

Several styles were applied and Emma took pics’ of them, because my dear cousin, Dawn, is going to have to copy the one of choice (she doesn’t know that yet)…and NO I am not putting a pic’ on here. I may be stupid but I’m not mad.

Anyway, when Richard walked in from work I was dishing up the salmon, courgettes (God more courgettes) the new potatoes and runner beans (God even more runner beans) and I remarked, ‘I’ve had my hair curled.’ You might think this strange…that a grown man needs  telling that my hair has changed from a pony tail to something out of Dynasty, but without me mentioning it he wouldn’t have noticed. And for two reasons.

One, when food is in the trough, Richard has tunnel vision and I wouldn’t even be in sight, and two – he never notices anything – unless it involves the car, motorbike or Land Rover.

‘I like it,’ he said.

I swear he is trying to kill me with surprise.

‘But the wedding is seven days away, won’t it be straight by Monday?’

As I live and breathe.

So, here I sit, typing away with my curly-whirly locks bouncing away like Medusa’s spitting snakes, and if Richard knows what’s good for him he will curb the comments or he could be turned to stone.

I fear that whilst I’m away my garden will resort back to a wilderness. The runner beans are already attempting to grab onto the lower birch tree branches, and the huge courgettes are lying around like alien space pods.

I did manage to make the jam that I said I wanted to make. All that remains now to make is the tomato chutney. They are starting to turn, so hopefully they will be ready for picking when I get back and then it’ll be back to the wet towel and my Dick Turpin impression….although, to be honest, I can’t keep Adam Ant from my mind’s eye singing, Stand and deliver …your money or your life!

Take care my lovelies x2014-08-09 18.08.40

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14 thoughts on “If They Could See Me Now That Little Gang Of Mine…

  1. Courgettes and runner beans – yep got a few of them. How.is it that we always forget about last years glut when seed sowing time comes around again:)

    Used to have curly hair too, way back when perms were fashionable. Now it would be nice just to have hair that occasionally looks like I made an effort, or rather looks less like I’m ready to go trick or treating 365 days of the year 😉 😀

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    • Oh Elaine…the perm! The world’s worst abomination. I had one and had to buy a hat before I dare journey home. Sooooo bad. And I fear that by the time I get back the runner beans will have taken over the world. I cut back this year as well, so where the hell they have all come from is beyond me. x

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  2. I only have the pic we all see, so, it seems strang to picture curly locks. However, a change us as good as a rest, I say. Doesn’t really apply to me, nothing to change for. Done my changing over th oast 13 month, weight. That is enough for now ( oh, and more upbeat clothes). Goid luck. Hope the wedding goes off with wll, not a bang, but no hang ups.
    Evelyn

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    • Yeah, Evelyn, I HATE having my picture taken and that was a ‘selfie,’ taken because all these ‘virtual’ platforms required a pic’. I love Next and can dawdle in there for ages, I noticed that you are buying ‘stuff’ from there, on line? Good for you. You’ll need some sweaters now! xx

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    • Bless your heart, Jen. To be honest if I don’t come straight down in the mornings and start writing immediately, I allow all the other ‘irritations’ and ‘chores’ to take over first, and then I’ve lost the chance to write. I often tap-out a blog in the evenings, between soaps, and then post it the next day – or a few days later. That accounts for this one being out of date by about 2 days!! Don’t tell anyone. I’m on 56,000 words on the new novel and I’m planning on taking the laptop with me so that I can finish off the first draft. That’s Plan A! And a million thanks for the reblog – again. xxx

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  3. You really should put all your posts together for a book, Jennie. With some lovely pics from your garden and your recipes – wow, a bestseller! You write with such humour and insight about ordinary life and relationships that it will be a hit.

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