Well, it’s been a little while since I raised the old bonce above the parapet, but that doesn’t mean I’ve been doing nothing. In fact, I’ve been so busy that I just haven’t had the time to raise my head.
Obviously, a great part of my time has been wasted on trying to sort out my laptop that suddenly decided it wasn’t going to link to anything to do with the internet, and the old Dell had to be sourced from the drawer and kick-started into life.
The sweet little thing loved it, doing its best to link to everything and anything within a mere matter of ages! It battled along beautifully and I promised it faithfully that I would show total commitment to it and never again shove it back into the dark scary drawer. Then, one morning, the old rush of blood to the head occurred and I uninstalled Dropbox on the super-duper non-working laptop and hey presto…it worked. So, I quietly closed down poor Dell and …yeah, shoved it back into the drawer. I’m so fickle. But, you see, I can’t keep raiding the fridge and making tea while I wait ten minutes each time for old Dell boy to link to Facebook or Twitter or whatever, can I?
Also (drum roll) I’ve finished the next novel, Witch Ever Way You Look At It (that’s not a typo by the way) and yesterday shipped it off to my editor. ‘My editor’ Whooo hoo. Yes, I’ve decided that it’s time I went about this properly and have someone struggle through all my unnecessary dots, dashes and ellipses. I love them, like special little furry friends, but I know I use too many so…it’s time for the cull, I fear.
Also, I’ve become involved in a real love of mine, albeit a love that I haven’t experienced for some years. I have become involved as the font of all knowledge in the process of pony buying, pony handling and pony this and that, for two very dear friends Lauren and Ash. Of course, this has caused ripples of interest in Richard’s brain, and last night I caught him looking at ‘Horses for Sale in Leicestershire.’ I’ve told him that he would need a carthorse and I’ve stressed the pitfalls – and they haven’t included the actual falls. Can you imagine the damage when six-foot-two-ish Richard hits the ground from something as tall a giraffe? It would take me bloody ages to fill in the hole made in the ménage! He thinks, just because he can feed the pony (Flo) with an apple from the palm of his hand he can become the next John Wayne. Frankly, I think he’s just fantasising about the black leather boots and swishy riding whip, hardly a sound reason to lash-out a few grand on an elephant-sized equine!
And then there is the garden! Wow, what a little beauty that has been this year. Masses and masses of produce. The cupboards are bursting with jam and chutney. Thankfully, everything is coming to the end of production…except for the sodding runner beans. They breed overnight, under the cover of darkness, and come the morning they are dangling there with smiles on their faces. Richard has almost turned green with all the beans that I’ve forced him to eat. ‘Eat your runner beans and then you can have pudding,’ is the constant promise made from yours truly. Obviously, I’m lying because he’s on a diet and pudding isn’t allowed. And don’t go feeling sorry for him (especially you, Malla) because if he’s going to buy a carthorse and learn how to ride it he will need to shed a few extra pounds. Even a carthorse can only take so much!
The chucks are in chuck heaven, because now that the soft fruits and chicken-chomping stuff is no longer growing I have allowed them up into the veggie plot and they spend hours scratching through the fallen leaves, looking for, and finding, insects and bugs. And this gives me immense pleasure, not the annihilation of the bugs, but watching the chucks, happily foraging with the autumn sunshine on their backs.
And……I’ve started bread making! Yesterday’s first attempt was crap. Utter crap. Looked brilliant. Could barely get the Kitchen Devil knife through it, and the bit of crust I threw out for the birds grounded the poor things. Today I was determined to do better, and, as I type, a loaf is rising. However, ten minutes after I’d put it to rise I realised that I hadn’t put enough yeast in it so out it came and in went more yeast. So that looks like another shit attempt. But have no fear, I WILL make a success of this, or die trying.
And right on cue the little timer thingy is ringing (and I’m even using a timer) so off I trot to knock it back. See, I already have the terminology! Cool.